I first came into contact with Lighthouse when Jack Comer reached out to me last summer. We connected instantly, he asked me some really thought-provoking questions and we exchanged a couple essays before I suggested that we talk on the phone.
I was struck by Jack’s humanness as we shared our thoughts, challenges and learnings
After catching up weekly for a couple months, Jack invited me to talk with his mentor Jai.
At this time I was taking my first tentative steps into becoming a coach myself and running into a lot of obstacles, not least my maturity, work ethic and state of dependence.
The coaching I had received prior to Jai was very different in format. I was initially sceptical of the apparent lack of structure to the sessions and how it was going to help me. But as I talked and Jai listened and felt, really felt, into what I was saying, he was able to get the heart of what I was struggling with and the resolution, with remarkable precision.
One of the first things Jai taught me was the importance of building a strong foundation based on principles. I learned the difference between the personality ethic and technique approach of “being a coach”, and the character ethic of developing oneself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to “become a coach”.
I realised I had previously never truly applied myself to anything before, and to become a coach requires that I extend myself in all areas of life. Seeing this has inspired me to lead other young men and women to explore their potential instead of slowly cruising their way towards death like I once was.
Another thing that stands out about Jai is how much he goes above and beyond to make sure that I get clarity and direction or have the breakthrough I need, even if it means extending an hour session to two hours. He is truly a man dedicated to serving. Leading by example has taught me a great deal about gratitude, humility, courage, commitment, responsibility, …the list goes on.
What I value about our relationship is that it is a win win. Since the very start we discussed what I was needing in terms of support and accountability and that has evolved organically and incrementally over time. To reach the point now where I have invested £10k in a year of intensive mentorship, I want to stress that this decision has not been taken lightly by either of us. Ultimately we are both investing in each other and it would not have been possible without us proving our commitment to each other; my commitment to openness, humility and the willingness to grow, and Jai’s commitment to care and guidance.
It’s not all nicey nicey. I’ve lost count of the number of times Jai has called me out, cut through my bs and given me the real and the raw. Taken my ego down a peg and told me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. Neither have I been spoon fed, it’s up to me to implement and make the changes in my own life. This has really stretched me and I have questioned if I really want to continue our work together but I have come to appreciate this because it speaks to genuine care for my growth, not just to please me as a client.
Seeing Jai value himself like this has taught me to respect my own value, to let go of need and stop selling myself. Whether that’s in a professional context of clients or a personal context of relationships.
One thing I’d like to bring attention to is the accusations levelled against Lighthouse of being divisive and breaking up families and relationships to render the mentee dependent on their mentor.
I recently had a confrontational situation come up in a personal relationship that had me shocked, confused and hurt. I felt so fortunate that I was able to reach out to Jai at 7 in the morning and get a swift reply with real meaningful actionable advice.
Since then we have been working closely to help me understand the situation and transform it into a beautiful growth opportunity for all parties. Far from cutting me off from the people I am close to, Jai has helped me to empathise and connect from the heart instead of playing ego games that had been creating distance within the relationship.
Since working with Jack and Jai I have made a significant shift from cold, closed and automated to warm, open and human. I am taking a lot more responsibility for myself and with the independence I’ve gained I feel more capable and confident. Of course I am still very much a work in progress and I am glad to have the support of Jai and Jack, my brothers, on the journey.
If you'd like to learn more about being mentored with Lighthouse International Group, click here..