Updated: Apr 20, 2022
Inspiring Insight About What Gets In The Way, And What You Can Do About It
Written by Vivienne Juan, Associate Elect Partner
Do you want to create as much value as possible at home? As a parent, a partner, a friend? Or do you want to realise your potential at work as an employee? A colleague? A boss? Or do you want to serve others outside your front door and serve those in desperate need more than you currently have the capacity to?
Wherever you want to serve, the journey to success still needs to start with the first step. Yet there is no shortage of things that could get in the way of our success. That’s reality, right? We live as imperfect beings in an imperfect world. But if there’s one fundamental truth here, it’s that we get in our own way, more than anything or anyone else.
In this blog, I’ll share with you how I’ve gotten in my own way, alongside four one-minute videos from our Lighthouse International Group Head Mentor, Paul Waugh, and Dr Jordan Peterson, imparting wisdom on ways you can start to see, be, and do things differently.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Viktor Frankl
One of the first things I learned through being mentored, was to be response-able. I could start the day with the loftiest intentions, but it didn’t take long for the reactive fire-fighting to begin. Instead, I needed to take control of my life, by first taking control of myself.
Get the Wrong Results
This is a tough one for me: be willing to make mistakes. I grew up feeling like I had to be somebody else to be liked, fake it till you make it. What that precipitated though was this paralysing fear of failure — I hoped no one would ever see behind my facade, for fear of being found out as truly unloveable as I thought I was. What I really needed was to have been brought up and taught to do the exact opposite!
I spent a lot of my life speaking a good game, being ineffective, and coming undone. But I am seeing differently these days, and I now know that failure is actually the most important part of success, because it’s where you learn the most, if you’re willing. It’s not something that I’m super-willing to do on my own though (I’m still working on it). So having a mentor to support me and keep me accountable to the healthiest version of who I want to be has been priceless.
Care for the Whole Human
Speaking of health, it’s so important to look after all your needs, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s like running a road car — if you have one flat tyre out of the four, it won’t matter if it’s a Ford or a Ferrari, you’re not going to be able to drive her anywhere!
I’ve made the mistake in the past of letting emotionally toxic relationships fester, or staying spiritually disconnected from my source. So long as I push that uncomfortable stuff down, and have my mind and body pushing along, then I’m fine, no? Wrong. Sure, I can eat, sleep, work, repeat, but that’s not really LIVING! I mean, who wants to go slow in a Ferrari?
Stand for Truth
Live, and not be lived. After all, humans are not intended to live as robots, as automatons, but as smiling, laughing, crying, joyous, powerful human beings. Stand for our humanness and with our humanity. It’s an ongoing process but it’s been worth it to be part of a mentorship community where I could learn to heal and overcome the obstacles in my world, in my work, and in my family (and trust me, the family’s a must). Too long I lived programmed by my past, wondering, when will my life begin? Instead, I can use my past traumas to help others with theirs, and that’s the most rewarding adventure I’ve ever embarked upon.
If you or someone you know is experiencing toxic narcissism, to get the right support, please check out our Parents Against Trolls & Trolling initiative.
Learn more about mentorship with Lighthouse International on our mentoring & coaching page, or join a support group or response forum to find out how you can help or be helped!
Have a question? To send me feedback or share your thoughts,
please do get in touch and drop me an email — I’ll be happy to hear from you.